How They Kill the Clunkers

The news that "Cash for Clunkers" burned through $1 billion in a week and may get $2 billion more got me wondering what's happing to the crap cars that are being traded in as part of this absurd auto industry handout. According to the rules, junkyards can resell parts from clunkers except the engines, which must be destroyed. So how do they destroy the engines? The brick on the gas pedal method? Well, something like that.
The New York Times followed Nike Clites, a dealership worker as he put a BMW to death:

He drained the oil, then donned a silky blue protective suit, goggles and gloves and poured a sodium silicate solution into the engine. He revved the car, and within a few seconds, the solution hardened into a glass-like substance, the engine seized up and the car was dead.

Kind of anticlimactic. We can think of more fun ways to destroy an engine. Any ideas? Read More

Cheap Thrills: Ragged '57 Chevy

Jay Leno, in the August issue of Octane, says, "I'm the Mia Farrow of cars: when I see one abandoned I have to adopt it."
Well, if this '57 Chevy is an orphan, it's an autistic child with a penchant for drawing on the walls with crayons--it's gonna need more than love. But for the $5,000 the Northern Virginia seller is asking for it, the post coupe might be worth the bother. It's a '57 Chevy after all.
Despite its ragged looks, the car has got some things going for it aside from being a hot rod icon. First off, it's not a 4-door. Second, it's already been rodded up with a 350, a 4-speed transmission, and a 4.10 posi. Seller says it rides on a good frame but has Flintstones floors. He calls the brown patches that cover most of the car "surface rust," which by the looks of things seems an extreme understatement. Looks like someone did some body work 20 years ago (loads of Bondo we're sure) and then let it sit in primer in the back yard. In most cases, we'd advocate for letting a car like this rust into the ground. But it's a '57 and there just aren't that many unrestored 2-doors out there.
Someone offer this guy $3,500. Save this thing and spend the minimum possible to get it on the road. It would be the perfect rat rod and a great chance to drive the restoration guys crazy.
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Rumblenote Caption Contest Winner

After five months and a total of five entries, the car dork blog Rumblenote announces the winner of its first photo caption contest.
“DanCamm” takes home the honors with this rendering of Bo and Luke Duke in a flying rally Fiat. We’re not sure if Dan wielded the Photoshop on this awesome piece of work, but if he didn’t we’re giving extra points for stealing.
Dan didn’t follow the contest rules, which required supplying a funny caption, but he wins none-the-less, since the other entries were so bad.
Since we drove by the Home of Grave Digger without stopping for a post card as we promised, Dan instead wins the lump sum of our Google Ads revenue to date, with which he can buy the Hot Wheel of his choice. Please e-mail us, Dan, to claim your prize. Read More

Rumblenote on Holiday

We're escaping the muggy confines of Baltimore for the Outer Banks. See you in a week or so. If you get bored, check our caption contest, which netted poor participation during our last vacation. Winner gets a postcard from the home of Grave Digger. Read More

Quantified: How Much Rush Hour Sucks

Everyone knows sitting in traffic is a drag. Leave it to the Wall Street Journal to inform us how much of a drag it is. According to the paper, the average big-city commuter wastes $750 in fuel and time each year waiting for gridlock to ease. That's a total of 36 hours a year in your Camry, almost equal to a week vacation spent in highway hell. Read More

Flames Make Everything Better

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Cheap Thrills: '57 Chevy Stepside

Ducking behind our day job monitor as we scrub Craigslist for cheap thrills, from time-to-time we come across something we really want. And we think, should we put this one on the blog or keep it a secret? This is one of those times. We could really see this '57 Chevy parked in front of our place on Saint Paul Street. But then again, we'd be spending way too much time sourcing side windows when the dope fiends start salivating over the change stuck under the seat. So we'll pass it on.

The Smurf blue stepside is for sale for $3,000 in Manassas, Virginia. The body is a little wavy and the doors sag when you open them, but we think it's cool as hell. Somebody along the line removed the original six and dropped in a 327 with a 4-barrel carburetor. Unfortunately, the current owner removed the linkage from the three-on-the-tree (he planned on turning it into an automatic, but didn't get far). We imagine he fucked up the linkage and lost some parts in the process, so you'll probably want to install a floor shifter. We'd leave this one just like it is, after adding a shifter. Maybe fix those doors. Who doesn't need a pickup?
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Cheap Thrills: Satellite in the Weeds

Sometimes it's tough to distinguish between a cheap thrill and just another junkyard escapee. Case and point--this $800 Plymouth Satellite. Makes it especially difficult since, by the looks of the photo, the Baltimore seller seems to keep a personal junkyard in his back yard. We like his preservationist instincts, even if we're not a fan of his portfolio.
For someone into these 70s Mopars (we've never met anyone, but we assume they are out there) this Satellite might make for some fun. The engine looks in nice shape, even if it's just a 318.
Seller says reverse is gone, which we assume means the cars moves in the forward gears? It's got a new windshield and a $490 hood from Carlisle for a try at cloning a GTX.
We're still not sure it's a cheap thrill, but we think we've got time to think about it: we can bet it's not going anywhere soon. Winter's coming. Could make a nice beater.
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Greening the Streets: Corvette Envy?

I can never tell the shit years Corvettes apart. Back whenever this one was built, it was probably the coolest car on the block, what with the sharky body kit and all. This thing really needs a set of chrome side pipes to make it complete. Even if we're not fans, it was cool to see the Vette parked yesterday on Washington's K Street. At least it's not another black Euro-lux sedan. Check the license plate. I seriously doubt anyone has felt much envy on this one since 1981 or so. Read More

Footballer Loses Way Overpriced Donk

It couldn't have been easy, but someone stole this donk '75 Caprice Classic from Carolina Panther linebacker Thomas Davis. But that's not the half of it. According to the Charlotte newspaper, the '75 Big Wheel is worth $136,000.
As readers may remember, we've come out pro-donk, simply 'cause it's impossible to make a 70s American land yacht any uglier than it came from the factory. But how much can 35 coats of purple paint and a big ass set of chrome wheels set a guy back? As my brother would put it, "$136,000! That better come with a ball tickler."
I've got a proposition for Mr. Davis: if the donk isn't found, I'll locate you another one for $75,000.
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On Wheels: A Year's Salary

At the Baltimore library last week, I discovered Franklin E. Huffman's "Monks and Motorcycles," a trilling diary of the author's 1958 trip from Laos to India on a one-lung BWM 250. The motorcycle passages are intriguing, but I preferred his stories about cruising around Europe with his Air Force brother later that year. Just before he returns to Virginia, Huffman borrows $200 from his brother for down payment on a Triumph TR-3, which he has shipped. Then he goes home and finds a teaching job, which pays in a year what he owes on the Triumph loan:

We are never again as rich as when we're still single; if I wanted to spend all my money on a sports car and live on bread and water, it was my decision. Later in life we may have a lot more money, but less disposable income after paying for the mortgage, insurance, groceries and orthodontists -- it's all "corporate funds."

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Cheap Thrills: Porsche for $1,000

Here at Rumblenote, we've been noticing a certain oddity in the car classified world. Call it mixed signals. In the first part of the ad, a guy will say how badly he needs to get rid of his car (needs money, wife wants place to park, lost interest in project....) Then, after a long description of why the car must go, he sets the price, followed by the word FIRM. Take the Virginian selling this Porsche 924.
Track guys like these, but to our mind, they're the least desirable Porsche, exempting, perhaps, the tractors Porsche manufactured--basically a 944 without the cool bits. Still, if it runs, we think it's probably worth the $1,300 FIRM he's asking for it, even as an upscale winter beater. But since he preambles his description of the custom exhaust with "I NEED THIS CAR OUT OF MY GARAGE ASAP," we're coming into it low ball and having trouble registering the FIRM.
Sellers are sending out conflicting signals, but buyer are not confused. They smell the blood in the water. We're calling this one a great deal at $1,000 FIRM. Read More

Vintage Cars: A Danger to Public Health?

After two crashes involving vintage cars killed three people this summer in Maryland, a Baltimore Sun story suggests classics should be banned from the roads. Both crashes took place on interstates. On July 1, a man and his 10-year-old daughter were killed when their '29 Ford Model A was rear ended, tossing them from the car. Another man was killed when his '36 Ford. was hit head-on. Both cars were moving far slower than other traffic, the news report says.
With top speeds of 50, no seat belts, and brakes and handing worse than modern riding lawnmowers, it's pretty clear that early Fords are far more dangerous than your '98 Taurus. Get into a bad wreck and you're probably a gonner. In the Sun story, enthusiasts say they do their best to keep on the back streets instead of the interstates. But on long-distance rallies, that's next to impossible, they say.
We'd hate to see these cars banned from the interstate. Seems like a classic case of blaming the victim. At the same time, you wouldn't catch us behind the wheel, or in the passenger seat, of anything pre-1950 or so on busy highway, unless it was far from stock.
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Cheap Thrills: Question Mark Camaro

This Camaro is a mystery grab bag. For $1,250, I guess the seller figured he didn't need to give details. It's a '75 Camaro for $1,250. What do you want?
Well, we'd like to know if it runs, if it has an interior, and what that cement block in the foreground is for. But that's just us.
From the photos, the cheap Camaro looks like a hell of a deal. For the price of a rusted out Hyundai, you're getting a street beater Camaro in fetching two-tone primer with a small block under the hood.
Heck, we're betting those rallye wheels are worth one-fifth of the asking price. More if the rubber is good. The car is located in Westminster, Maryland. Check out the Craigslist ad. As always, we say buy this one and forgo the urge to paint.
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Greening the Streets: Ford Country Squire

Check out the hot rod Ford Country Squire wagon parked in Baltimore's Wyman Park neighborhood on Sunday. A ton of metal flake, rocket-age tail lights and a set of super funky tail pipes make it a keeper, even if you're not going anywhere in a hurry. Read More

Devolution of the Camaro

Check out the NYT slide show The Evolution of the Camaro. In this case, the apple fell pretty far from the tree. The word Camaro for me brings up images of the car from '67 to '70. The rest is somehow repressed like like a bad memory. Except for four years of the car's life, it has been one ugly dog. Shows what four good years can do. The new Camaro? My jury is still out. Read More

Camaro Metalsexual

This is a fucking weird commercial. Read More

Or is This One "The One?"

Choosing a car is something like the courtship and marriage: after a lot of test drives, kicking the tires....
Some folks go with the first one that catches their eye. I'm not the kind of guy who gets dazzled by a shiny paint job. I'm looking for the best option, which requires a lot of looking. That goes partway to explaining why I'm still carless. Of all the cars I've considered during the last two years, this '77 Porsche 911 is one of my favorites. I've never seen it in person. It's one of those Internet affairs.
I first saw the car advertised in the Pelican classifieds. The owner changed his mind soon after and took the car off the market, but by then we were trading emails about the car he calls Butter, for obvious reasons. Like most cars, Butter remains for sale, but not officially so. I'd love to check it out, but the car is outside Seattle, so taking the plunge requires a leap of faith. I like the idea of driving this thing across the country, except for the part where I'm stuck in Ford country and some redneck is hooking the stalled out Butter onto his wrecker. The previous owner used it as a vintage racer. The current owner is too afraid to crash it so hasn't taken it on the track. I love the funky '70s color and black rims. And the fact that it's not red.
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Cheap Thrills: Dune Buggy Alert

You know we can't pass up a dune buggy. With no doors or windshield, a sand rail is a kick ass way to feel the wind in your face without doing something harmful to your existence, like buying a motorcycle. Roll this thing and you'll be fine, so long as you keep your arms from flailing outside the cage. What could be more fun, really, than a tube frame and a VW engine kicking pollution through a bobtail exhaust? Nothing. Especially for $2,000, which is what the seller in Middle River, Maryland, wants for this one.
We're calling recession pricing and knocking off 15%, which allows the buyer to purchase the clutch cable and rear tires (look fine to us) the seller says its needs. Not sure what it would take to make this beast street legal, but you should have enough for that too. And that's a good idea, since we can think of nowhere within 45 miles of Baltimore to legally beat on this things off road. I dare someone to buy this and take it out on I-95 during rush hour. Stephen, this has your name on it.
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On Wheels: Why I Ride

I'd never heard of the writer Jana Richman before yesterday when I ran across her essay Why I Ride. In it she equates the freedom and strength she finds blasting down Utah passes on her BMW R1100R with the struggles of her female Mormon ancestors. Most of all, we like the passages about riding, like this one:

Trust my tires? Place my trust in strips of grooved rubber wrapped around a thin steel belt strapped to aluminum alloy? Francis Scott Key thought we might place our trust in God; Goethe suggested that we trust ourselves. I can't recall anyone who trusted tires. But leaning into a curve at 65 mph, supported only by physics and a pavement/rubber-contact width of about two inches, it is no time to contemplate the trustworthiness of tires.

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Cheap Thrills: Mustang Plus a Garage

I've been bitching about the lack of garages in Baltimore. Melvin in Pikesville has the solution. He's selling his grandfather's three-car garage on a half-acre lot, and the '67 Mustang inside. His Craigslist ad says it all goes for $20,000. I called him this afternoon. He says he'll take $16. He also said the garage is full of tools and old Ford parts.
Pikesville is a little hike from downtown Baltimore, but this seems like a great opportunity for two or three guys to set up a clubhouse. Pitch in $4,666 each and offer him $14,000. Sell the Mustang for $4,000 and you'll have beer money for a couple of years. Read More

Cheap Thrills: Junk Trunk Firebird

It's probably not a good sign that the owner of this '68 Firebird went through the trouble of shooting it with primer without first fixing the holes in the trunk. But who needs metal to hold up the gas tank when you've got a fuel cell?
Seller says the original 4-speed car now sports a 350 Chevy hooked to a 350 turbo trans and a 10-bolt posi. He's asking $5,500 and says he'll throw in a gas tank.
Usually we'd balk at this price for a beater Pontiac. But when it comes to Firebirds, we think they look better ugly. Still, there's a recession on so don't go full price. Somebody offer this guy $4,000, and have fun. Whatever you do, leave it in primer. And don't bother with the trunk.
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Greening the Streets: Mayfield MG

We're not too much into MGs, but it was good to see this British beater gracing the streets of one of East Baltimore's nicer neighborhoods. The side windows are held together with tape. It doesn't seem to have two of the same brand of tires, let along a matching set of hubcaps. We bet it's a blast to drive. But considering the rust stripe on the driver's side front wheel, it looks like this guy spends most days street sitting. Read More

City Driving: East Side Roller

Not sure how you get up enough speed on Baltimore's East 33rd to pull this off. Just glad he did it a few minutes before I pedaled through. Read More

Drive Like a Criminal

It’s no secret that drug dealers and other law breakers own some of the baddest cars, bikes and boats on the planet. What’s less known is what happens to the rides when the bad guys get snagged by the cops. We’ve all heard the stories about the police departments that run radar in seized Ferraris. But has anyone ever wound up with a deal at a police auction? A quick look at the auction site govdeals.com shows some good opportunities.
On the day I logged on, govdeals had a few sweet muscle cars including a ’66 Chevelle Super Sport, a ‘70 Chevelle Super Sport clone and a ’69 Camaro. Not sure if the Camaro is a Z28, but the auction says it’s got the rare 302 under the hood.
It seems clear, however, that I’m not the first guy to discover the site. Bids for the ’66 Chevelle had already hit $40,000. It’s no place for cheap guys like me, unless you happen to be looking for a cheap decommissioned cop car. Read More

555 Rally: Bikers Roll Like it's 1974

I seem to hear about all the good things too late. The other afternoon, I ran into my friend Chris who turned me on to the 555 Ride, a beater motorcycle rally from Portland, Oregon to Knoxville, Tennessee. The ride has three rules: bikes must be less than 500cc, worth less than $500, and built before 1975. Damn good idea. Got a beater bike worthy of the challenge?
It’s too late for this year. The ride, which is in its second year, began on June 19 and ends on July 4. That’s a lot of miles in a couple of weeks on a beater bike. Check out some of the beaters that started in Portland this year.
What’s your idea of the ultimate 555 bike? Read More

Porsche Wanted: Pay You Later

Got a Porsche you want to let go for way under value? A Craigslist poster has a deal for you. See, he's looking for a 99 to 06 Porsche 911 convertible for around $30,000. But he's only got $10,000 to lay down on it. Don't worry. He says he can pay $2,000 a month until it's paid off.
Perhaps this guy hasn't heard of dealers and auto financing? Actually he has, but that's a no go. He says his credit is dead 'cause he recently filed for bankruptcy.
If you're up for being a nice guy (or just want to get rid of your convertible abomination fast to buy nice hardtop) check out the ad.
But if you own a red or yellow 911, don't bother. He doesn't like those colors. Picky bastard for a guy with $10,000 in his pocket.
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Drunk Drivers Destroy Text Messengers

The intrepid journalists over at Car and Driver have determined that texting while driving is way more dangerous than getting behind the wheel fucked up. How? They tried it.
The experiment, which took place at a rural Michigan airport, is detailed in the latest issue. First they measured normal driver reaction. Then one group downed a few vodka screwdrivers and hit the track. The sober group drove while texting on their cell phones.
The drunk guys won. Obviously the test wasn't terribly scientific (no control group). And by the looks of the oldsters at C and D, we're pretty sure they have decades of "thumbs-up" booze cruising under their belt, which skews the results. We'd like to see the same experiment with 16-year-olds. Read More

Hyundai Offers $1.49 Gas

The folks over at Hyundai Motors are kicking the asses of other manufacturers at recession marketing. They were first with the offer to take back new cars if a buyer loses his job. On Tuesday, the Koreans went one better by offering a $1.49 price lock on gas for a year. What's next, speeding ticket coverage?
According to Business Week, Hyundai has used savvy marketing to up its share of the US market from 2.9% to 4.3% so far this year. With gas set to rise due to violence near Nigeria oil fields, Hyundai's deal is set to be worth some serious cash for summer drivers. It's sure to further increase the brand's toe-hold in the market.
How does it work? Buyers will receive a special credit card that registers $1.49 at the pump, regardless of the price of gas. Hyundai pays the store the difference.
Got any friends at a Hyundai dealership who can slip us one of those cards?
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